Hands up, if you want to date an author.

DATE AN AUTHORIf I were given a chance to date an author (and a ‘date’ could be anything, like lunch or brunch or dinner or tea or drinks or just plain talking while sitting on a bench in a park, reminiscing), it would be this Top 10 list:

(1) ANNE RICE, so we could talk about how she became a gay icon;

(2) CHRISTOPHER RICE, so I could ask him how he feels about being the gay writer son of a gay writer icon;

(3) MAYA ANGELOU, so I could ask her what heaven is like;

(4) DAVID FOSTER WALLACE, so I could ask him if he felt the same way I am feeling right now just before he did IT;

(5) FRANZ KAFKA, so I could kiss his hand for being brilliant;

(6) MICHAEL CUNNINGHAM, so I could tell him to adopt me;

(7) ARMISTEAD MAUPIN, so I could do a silly dance in front of him, while I shower him with petals;

(8) ALAIN DE BOTTON, so I could scrutinise how the mind works inside that shiny head;

(9) JOSE RIZAL AND NICK JOAQUIN AT THE SAME TIME, so I could ask them to rise from the dead and inspire everyone again; and

(10) DANIEL WITTHAUS AND ALICE MUNRO AT THE SAME TIME, so I could give him a bear hug and she could go and tell me to ‘Go jump’ or ‘In your dreams’ in the most subtle way. And then they both sit down for tea.


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